This is a record of the first time a southerner experienced a bath in the northeast.
First is the head massage. Lying on a bed, the master started to massage my head while chatting. From the loss of talent in the northeast to the difference between the righteousness and unreliability of the people in the northeast, suddenly the topic changed: your friends all tried the salt bath, it would be awkward if you don't try it, so I'll give you a free back massage. Alright, let's do it.
The second step is milk scrubbing. The master put on a pair of gloves, the material of the surface resembling a rich woman's happy ball. At this moment, I was naked, and the master poured some milk on my body as if it had just been squeezed out, and started scrubbing. Every inch of skin below my neck felt like it was being crushed by a tiger tank. I endured the pain and itching, waiting silently for the destruction of the world, and even felt a little sympathy for Li Hongzhang.
Suddenly, the master stretched the scrubbing glove in front of me and said, "Look, it's mud." I suddenly woke up, this is not mud, it is the stain of my life, I need to repent and atone, the priest is baptizing me. This is not a bath center, it is a wall of tears, it is the Aksa Mosque, it is the fallen Hagia Sophia. I couldn't help but silently say, "Yes, yes, I am a fool, I will never touch Chinese concept stocks again, I shouldn't have believed the devil's words of Wooden Sister."
The third step is the salt bath. The master poured a mixture of honey and salt on my body, and my entire abdominal muscles became a place where milk and honey flowed, just like in the Bible. Then the master started using kneading techniques to press my whole body, like the palm of Buddha. I thought of "Kung Fu", I thought of Stephen Chow, I thought of his "God of Cookery", I thought of the beef balls with urine, I thought of the short and beautiful days in Shunde, and couldn't help but drool.
Finally, the master gave me a back massage. A pair of powerful hands rhythmically tapped on my back. Ah, it's the "March of the Volunteers", it's the "Yellow River Cantata". Two words faintly appeared in my chest: "China", and four words were engraved on my back: "Good men spare their lives". No, it should be "Loyalty to the country". But the rhythm became faster and faster, this is no longer a song that humans can sing. My back turned into a set of drums, and the bath master became the devil instructor in "Whiplash". I just realized that the master also happened to be bald. Good men spare their lives!
Finally, everything ended. I lay naked, without a trace of dirt or bondage on my body, as if I had returned to the beginning of life. At this moment, my soul has left this body, wandering in the void. I am a follower of the Gulei family, an Indian ascetic, a black slave on an American plantation, and the founder of the Northern Qi Dynasty. I led a camel team out of the peninsula, I fasted, I crossed the Atlantic in a small cabin, and I sang the "Ejina Song"...
The master's final question brought me back to reality:
- Do you feel good?
- It's a total of 188 yuan.
I didn't answer, I didn't need to answer, I just showed my bracelet. This bracelet is such a perfect circle. If there is no god, how can such a perfect creation exist in the world? I understand it in my heart. Ah, God, you fooled me again.
A sand sculpture blogger once said: The end of the universe is in the northeast. He didn't deceive me.
I dare not say that I am a spiritual northerner, I am just a passerby, a convert and a betrayer. It is better to say that the northeast is my Mecca.
In the bathhouse, one day is like a thousand years. It is already completely dark outside the window, and it is snowing heavily.
So I turned and walked towards the third floor, and ordered a bowl of chicken stew with mushrooms.
2022/02/27 @Jilin